The Importance of Small Talk in Sales.

Becoming a Better Sales Rep — Post #24

Introduction

I spent the majority of my childhood in Germany. However, when my professional career was beginning, things drew me over to North America where I was living for the past five years.

And, I remember the first thing that deeply confused me when I arrived in the U.S. was small talk. It was EVERYWHERE.

Germans usually get to the point right away. All the clichés are real: After a brief “hello” and — maybe — a few seconds of introductions (although we prefer name cards), we immediately get to the matter of the meeting.

In the U.S., things are very different. So different that it’d be considered rude not to engage in a little bit of small talk. It even gets to the point that many U.S. Americans don’t even start conversations with “Hi” or “Hey,” but they immediately jump to “How are you?” as the first line in a conversation.

In the beginning, I didn’t understand, I was ignorant, I thought that these were all useless fake questions. However, over time I learned how important small talk is.

So, let’s look into why every salesperson should know how to engage in great small talk at the beginning of every meeting. And then, what topics to use or to avoid.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Why Small Talk is Important

The Cambridge Dictionary defines small talk as a “conversation about things that are not important, often between people who do not know each other well.” So, this definition itself includes the word “unimportant” but small talk is quite the opposite.

Knowing how to leverage it can be a powerful tool in your sales tool kit and here’s why:

1. Small Talk Gives You Immediate Hints About the State of Mind of Your Lead: Of course, people don’t say that they feel terrible when you ask them how they are. However, they might tell you that they’re “alright” instead of “good,” which is usually a huge indicator of their current mood. If you just let them talk a little bit about the things they really wanna talk about, you can even learn where their mind is currently at. Are they talking about their amazing weekend plans or are they upset or tired because of a major deal they just lost? All these pieces of information are invaluable for your sales conversation. If somebody is in a terrible mood, it might be better to invest time into making them feel better and build the relationship rather than trying to sell something to them.
2. Small Talk Reveals Character: Especially if you have repeated conversations with the same lead and you kick them off with some small talk, you can usually see some returning patterns. Are they talking about football or do they try to go the matter of the conversation quickly? Do they complain a lot or are they sharing the good things that have been happening in their lives? Do they talk more or listen more? No matter what it is, you can get crucial insights into how and who they are; and how to work with them to make both of you successful.
3. Small Talk Helps You to Build Real Relationships: Yes, many of us define ourselves by our work to some extent, but all of us are human beings beyond the time we spend at work. And, most of us care way more about the things that happen in the parts of our life that happen after we power off our computers. So, if you can build a relationship with your leads based on the things they really care about, you’ll have it way easier to close a deal with them. But, to build this relationship, you need to know about their kids, their hobbies, and maybe even some of their worries outside of work. So, talk about it!
4. Small Talk Makes Things Feel Natural: When you start a conversation with someone you don’t know, it’s hard to know what to talk about. You can’t jump into your pitch immediately because it’ll be too sales-y, you can’t really ask them questions about their private life, because it’s too personal. However, you can talk about the weather and it’ll feel totally normal because people are used to it.
5. You Can Test Which Version of Yourself You Should Present: Don’t get me wrong. You should always be yourself and real. But, there are more formal and more casual laid-back versions of yourself. There are funny and there are professional versions of yourself. And, you can’t know which to be without knowing who the other person is. So, by starting with small talk, asking little questions, speaking about topics you exactly know how to navigate gives you the necessary time to calibrate yourself.
6. People Expect Small Talk: And lastly, skipping small talk makes most people feel weird. So, it’s important to know how to do it because it’s just expected of you in most conversations.

So, knowing why small talk is so important, let’s talk about a few poor and great topics for small talk next!

Photo by Daniel Herron on Unsplash

Small Talk Topics to Avoid

The general rule of thumb is that small talk should be small. It should never put anyone at the risk of being uncomfortable. So, just like the name says, avoid big topics that people might truly worry about, like:

1. Personal Finance: If people make little money, they’re uncomfortable talking about it. If people make average money, they’re uncomfortable talking about it. If people make a lot of money, they’re uncomfortable talking about it. Personal finance is never a good topic. Just stay away from it.
2. Politics: Although it’s all about opinions, in politics your opinions can be offensive to somebody else. And it’s not that you or they are wrong. You might just have different perceptions. But with politics being so close to our hearts, you can make things very uncomfortable very quickly by addressing this topic.
3. Appearance: Don’t ever compliment anyone on their looks in a sales call. It can make you appear flirty or superficial. If you do the opposite, you might hurt them unnecessarily. There’s a reason that it’s generally considered inappropriate and leaves you in an awkward spot.
4. Jokes: Yes, humor is powerful. And, I’m a huge advocate for using humor in your sales game. However, do never use it in the small-talk phase. Humor is very personal and can be vastly different. Something that is funny to you might be deeply offensive or uncomfortable to somebody else. You must go through the small-talk and relationship-building phase before you try to make a joke.
5. Gossip: Most of us are guilty of it. There is someone you don’t like and you just want to vent. It might be a person at your or your client’s company, it might be a competitor. But, no matter who it is, engaging in any way of talking poorly about people just does one thing: it makes you look like a bad person. Good people keep their negative thoughts about somebody to themselves or tell the people who are affected directly.

So, knowing what to avoid, let’s now take a look at what to actually talk about!

Photo by Nimi Diffa on Unsplash

Best Small Talk Topics

So, what can you talk about?

1. Weather: Yes, this one is kind of a cliché, but we all know how to do this. It’s natural. It’s normal. We just fall into it. If nothing else works, this one is a safe space.
2. Arts: This is also a safe space just because arts are all about opinion. There is no right or wrong. It’s about your interpretation. So, the potential for conflict is very low.
3. Family: Most people have a positive understanding of the concept of family, they can relate to it immediately, and they care about the topic. So, mentioning the wedding of your brother might immediately create a topic of shared interest.
4. Food: Great topic. Most of us love food. We can also learn so much about our lead’s cultural values, where they come from, what they value, just busy listening to what food they love and how they enjoy their meals. Also, who doesn’t appreciate a good restaurant recommendation?
5. Work: You’re already talking about it or at least you will be very soon in the conversation. Why not talk about the current workload, successes, challenges, or whatever else is on your or their mind. It’s certainly something relatable because both of you are in a work meeting.

And, there are so many more topics like travel, sports, books, or whatever else. You can think of some yourself. However, don’t pressure yourself. The point of small talk is not for topics to be extravagant and interesting. It’s about creating a comfortable feeling to kickstart a great conversation. All general topics are perfectly fine!

Use Some Automated Small Talk in Your Outreach with Resonaid

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We just released a templating feature that allows you to modify your messages to sound more like you!

So, make sure to give Resonaid a try!

Access Resonaid via the Chrome Web Store

Resonaid is a tool that helps sales professionals with writing personalized messages for their sales outreach.

We recently released the first version of our product as a Chrome extension in the Chrome Web Store.

As we just went live this summer, you can currently test Resonaid for free and get large discounts by being an early user.

About the Author

Teddy Lange is a co-founder at Resonaid and is responsible for business development and customer experience. Before joining Resonaid, he’s been a Sales Rep and Junior Sales Manager, and co-founded various companies. He’s currently finishing his graduate degree in Public Policy with a focus on communication at Harvard University. Feel free to reach out to him at teddy@resonaid.co.